Skip to main content

Dear younger me

Boy, did this song from Mercy me get me thinking.
Dear younger me by Mercy me.
Go listen to it now!
What would I tell my younger self? Would I even try to explain the choices I would face? Would I change any of the choices I made in my life so far? And what effect would it have if I changed anything?
I know that some of the choices I made was wrong, I can see that now, but if I didnt make the mistakes would I still be the person I am today? More importantly, would the people close to me still be the awesome caring people they are today. Especially Ruben, who is turning into the most compassionate caring person at the tender age of (almost) 11 years.
When I look at the depth of care he has for his brother, I know he is going to accomplish great things in his life. Ruben sees Jacques' limitations, but it doesn't bother him. He loves helping out with Jacques, especially in areas where I struggle. He has a way with his big brother that I sometimes envy.
Whenever I start to wonder and want to ask God why, why me, why us, I just need to look at Ruben and I know why. Jacques is shaping his little brother into the greatest person I know. And I am so humbled and blessed to be these two incredible boys' mom.

Comments

  1. SnippieOctober 9, 2019 at 2:55 PM

    Yip. Obviously we all wonder what, if anything, we would change from our younger years.

    But those mistakes and missteps have made us and the kiddies into who they are today.

    I would not change a thing about you my sis, so never wish to change anything just because you had a couple of falls. At least you know you can always pick yourself up again.


    Lief vir jou!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hobbies - sanity saving stuff!

 I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly because I've been keeping myself busy, quite productively I must say. I started a whatsapp group more than a year ago, where I sell items I find at thrift stores. I hit an emotional bump in the beginning of the year and stopped the group for a few months. After some self reflection, I started the group again, and it's been keeping me occupied. And thus away from sinking into depression again. Depression as a result of PTSD from special needs parenting. But I have posted about this before, and this post is about positivity and hope. So I won't be going into depressing subjects today. My whatsapp group's name is Interestingfinds. And that's exactly what I sell on the group. Treasures I find in thriftstores and similar stores. I also have a bidorbuy account where I sell similar items. But the whatsapp group has been really therapeutic. I get to interact with other people (electronically) and I have made quite a few fr
3 comments
Read more

Our greatest fears came true for a friend of mine.

The third angel I had the privilege of knowing has passed away. And my heart breaks for all of the parents of the kids taken away so young. This is a pain I am not yet familiar with, but it is the pain I know that will hurt the most. This is the pain many special needs family's fear more than any diagnosis or treatment. The pain of saying goodbye to the person who formed you more than anything or anyone else ever could. And this special person formed the whole family dynamic. Everything revolved around their care. Vacations were planned around their needs. Their parents were absent for a lot of their siblings life. I fear for the time, just after the loved one will be taken, what will the sibling/s feel? How will they react? How will we react? I know there will be sadness, but what other emotions will be lurking around? Anger? Resentment? Maybe even a sense of relief? How will we deal with that? I think it's important to start dealing with these emotions wh
5 comments
Read more

Footprints of a giant.

Isn't life strange? When I was a child I had a very close relationship with my father. He was my hero, I looked up to him and I have him to thank for my love for music. His passion for classical (and church) music was my inspiration and the reason I learned to play the piano. My mother was the reason I continued with the piano lessons. Her encouragement when I wanted to give up is what pushed me towards becoming a moderately talented pianist. I have come to realize, in the almost two years since her death, that my mother was my real inspiration in life. And thankfully she still is. When I am sad and discouraged, it is her voice I hear. I can hear it clearly in my mind, encouraging me not to give up, and then I feel her presence so very clearly next to me. And with her ever present nearness I have nothing to fear or be sad about. These last few years have been an eye opening experience. Ever since my mom's passing I have been struggling with my spiritual life. I h
5 comments
Read more