Almost 2 year anniversary

The 11th of March is fast approaching. On 11 March 2018 our lives changed forever.

My mom passed after years of battling Alzheimers disease. And it was a battle, not only for her, but for everyone who loved her.
We battled against her memories fading. We battled, trying to accept what this most horrible disease did. We battled our feelings of helplessness as everything that made our mom, our mom, was taken away viciously and without mercy.

I still have her ash, we have not decided where we want to scatter her ashes. She never really mentioned what she wanted us to do with them, she only told us that she wanted to be cremated. My sisters and I will decide together how we will take that final step of letting go, but we aren't in a hurry. It may sound strange, but for now, it brings some peace knowing a part of her is still with us.

I have however decided to do something, for me, before the 2 year anniversary of her death. It's something I never imagined I would want to do. And now, I can't wait.
I will share this big THING tomorrow. Yes, I'm leaving you all with a bit of a cliffhanger, sorry😜.

So come back tomorrow for the surprise...

Comments

Hobbies - sanity saving stuff!

I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly because I've been keeping myself busy, quite productively I must say. I started a whatsapp group more than a year ago, where I sell items I find at thrift stores. I hit an emotional bump in the beginning of the year and stopped the group for a few months. After some self reflection, I started the group again, and it's been keeping me occupied. And thus away from sinking into depression again. Depression as a result of PTSD from special needs parenting. But I have posted about this before, and this post is about positivity and hope. So I won't be going into depressing subjects today. My whatsapp group's name is Interestingfinds. And that's exactly what I sell on the group. Treasures I find in thriftstores and similar stores. I also have a bidorbuy account where I sell similar items. But the whatsapp group has been really therapeutic. I get to interact with other people (electronically) and I have made quite a few fr...

Rock bottom...

This post is very difficult for me to write. But it is part of my healing so here goes. I was feeling so tired and so alone. I could not see light, I only saw darkness. I thought if this is it, if this is all there is I can just as well be dead. But if I'm dead what then? Where will I go? Will there be nothing? That can't be, there has to be something after death, but then there also has to be a God. And if there is a God then it is not as hopeless as I thought. And I could grasp and cling to that thought. I could see myself going on. That was the lowest point ever in my 37 years on earth. What brought me to this point is a very long story. It started a little more than 14 years ago with the birth of my first born son. I have always been a control freak, I like to plan and to feel in control of a situation. For the past 14 years I have tried to be in control and on top of all my sons medical issues. I researched every new diagnosis so carefully that my husband started to r...

Embarrassing or infuriating?? Both.

This special needs journey has been entertaining. It has been scary. It has been educational. It has been down right depressing at times. It has been humerous. All of these emotions have been present for a while, and we experience most of them daily. It has also been embarrassing. But we got used to the dirty nappies at inoppertune times. We even got used to impolite stares and whispers. All of these moments have been embarrassing in a way, but we got over it and learned how to cope with them. We have recently begun to deal with issues that were not present before. It is embarrassing, but it also reminds me of how uninformed people can be. We attended my niece's birthday party and one of the moms told my sister that she was worried because my son would be attending. She was worried he would try something with one of the girls. Now, for those who don't know Jacques, that is just plain hilarious. It is funny because Jacques doesn't understand sexuality. And it is hilarious be...

Our story, our journey.....

Search This Blog