I am usually a very calm natured person, but this afternoon I was again reminded how little people know and realise what special needs families go through, and I was really upset for a while.
I sent a message to Ruben's, (my neuro typical son) teacher informing her that he would not be at school tomorrow. The message she sent me back was not only rude but really hurtful as well. Firstly she didn't even bother asking what the reason was, she went straight for: it's really neglectful (of me), they are busy with assessment and she will not have time next week Monday or Tuesday as they will be busy with final practice for the grade 0 concert and he HAS to be at school for the next 2 weeks so that she can finish the assessments. He is in Grade 0. Further she told me how important it is for him to have a routine.
I'm actually laughing at the last part - she said this to a mother with a son who is on the autism spectrum, does she even know the term: schedule board. My oldest son would be lost without structure and routine. Both my boys are in a very strict routine. My whole house is filled with Pecs - the schedule board, the bathroom, the kitchen, even the walls.
We are helping my parents move back to Pretoria, my mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer Dimentia. I don't have any friends I can leave my sons with, I lost most of my friends when Jacques was born, I'm not angry about that, most people don't know how to act around us, it's a fact I made peace with a long time ago. I think the teacher was probably thinking why not leave him at a relative or a friends house. I don't have anybody except my sister or my husband. My sister is going with us and my husband is working, he is joining us on Saturday.
If I have one wish it is for teachers and people in general to realise that we as special needs parents have unique and trying circumstances, and not to add to our stress by making us feel inadequate. I know I'm doing my best and that very few people have our unique (and mostly stressful lives), but it still hurts when someone questions your parenting ability.
I sent a message to Ruben's, (my neuro typical son) teacher informing her that he would not be at school tomorrow. The message she sent me back was not only rude but really hurtful as well. Firstly she didn't even bother asking what the reason was, she went straight for: it's really neglectful (of me), they are busy with assessment and she will not have time next week Monday or Tuesday as they will be busy with final practice for the grade 0 concert and he HAS to be at school for the next 2 weeks so that she can finish the assessments. He is in Grade 0. Further she told me how important it is for him to have a routine.
I'm actually laughing at the last part - she said this to a mother with a son who is on the autism spectrum, does she even know the term: schedule board. My oldest son would be lost without structure and routine. Both my boys are in a very strict routine. My whole house is filled with Pecs - the schedule board, the bathroom, the kitchen, even the walls.
We are helping my parents move back to Pretoria, my mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer Dimentia. I don't have any friends I can leave my sons with, I lost most of my friends when Jacques was born, I'm not angry about that, most people don't know how to act around us, it's a fact I made peace with a long time ago. I think the teacher was probably thinking why not leave him at a relative or a friends house. I don't have anybody except my sister or my husband. My sister is going with us and my husband is working, he is joining us on Saturday.
If I have one wish it is for teachers and people in general to realise that we as special needs parents have unique and trying circumstances, and not to add to our stress by making us feel inadequate. I know I'm doing my best and that very few people have our unique (and mostly stressful lives), but it still hurts when someone questions your parenting ability.
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