Skip to main content

Aging not so gracefully with a special needs child


I have a theory that parenting a special needs child makes a parent age quicker.
I do have some evidence to support this theory.
Exhibit A - I have a lot more grey hair than my mom had at my age. According to our genetics, I should have a beautiful, grey free head of hair until at least the age of 45 years - I am only 37 years old now and already have 10% silver coverage adorning my head.
Exhibit B - I have night sweats. Horrible, yucky, wake up with my hair wet, night sweats. The low or changing levels of estrogen in particular are the cause of night sweats. Perimenopause usually happens between ages 40 and 50. Thank you google, again I am 37!!
Exhibit C - I am always tired. If I could I would take a nap every chance I could get. But, with the sleep police (Jacques) always in the vicinity that would be hazardous to my health. He slaps his victims awake without a flinch and usually finds it hilarious as well.
Exhibit D - joints I never knew I had are making creaking noises so bad, I seriously sound like rice crispies - snap, crackle and pop.
While I am writing this article my husband is telling me that it's all in my head. I guess I should take it as a compliment that he doesn't think I am that old yet. But somedays I really feel older than my years and I attribute that to the stress caused by raising a child who is medically complex.

Knowing your sons life is quite literally in your hands is a stressful job. If I forget to give him his insulin or by mistake double dose him it could get really bad really fast. This is a lot to carry with you all the time, and my body (and mind) is starting to show some wear. I am sure that most special needs parents (if not all) can relate to the feeling of age catching up (and overtaking) us sometimes. But still, we get up and do what needs to be done because we have very special and fragile kids to take care of. My only advice to other parents is try to take care of yourself as much as possible too. I am trying to do some things just for me, and it helps a bit. Don't lose yourself in the process of taking care of everybody else.

Comments

  1. Liezl MeintjiesOctober 17, 2019 at 7:57 PM

    Love jou posts. Keep them coming. Jy is 'n ma 1000000 x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elsa PieterseOctober 18, 2019 at 5:49 PM

      Dankie Liezl. Ek geniet die blog vreeslik baie en dit doen my goed.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hobbies - sanity saving stuff!

 I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly because I've been keeping myself busy, quite productively I must say. I started a whatsapp group more than a year ago, where I sell items I find at thrift stores. I hit an emotional bump in the beginning of the year and stopped the group for a few months. After some self reflection, I started the group again, and it's been keeping me occupied. And thus away from sinking into depression again. Depression as a result of PTSD from special needs parenting. But I have posted about this before, and this post is about positivity and hope. So I won't be going into depressing subjects today. My whatsapp group's name is Interestingfinds. And that's exactly what I sell on the group. Treasures I find in thriftstores and similar stores. I also have a bidorbuy account where I sell similar items. But the whatsapp group has been really therapeutic. I get to interact with other people (electronically) and I have made quite a few fr...
3 comments
Read more

Embarrassing or infuriating?? Both.

This special needs journey has been entertaining. It has been scary. It has been educational. It has been down right depressing at times. It has been humerous. All of these emotions have been present for a while, and we experience most of them daily. It has also been embarrassing. But we got used to the dirty nappies at inoppertune times. We even got used to impolite stares and whispers. All of these moments have been embarrassing in a way, but we got over it and learned how to cope with them. We have recently begun to deal with issues that were not present before. It is embarrassing, but it also reminds me of how uninformed people can be. We attended my niece's birthday party and one of the moms told my sister that she was worried because my son would be attending. She was worried he would try something with one of the girls. Now, for those who don't know Jacques, that is just plain hilarious. It is funny because Jacques doesn't understand sexuality. And it is hilarious be...
3 comments
Read more

Rock bottom...

This post is very difficult for me to write. But it is part of my healing so here goes. I was feeling so tired and so alone. I could not see light, I only saw darkness. I thought if this is it, if this is all there is I can just as well be dead. But if I'm dead what then? Where will I go? Will there be nothing? That can't be, there has to be something after death, but then there also has to be a God. And if there is a God then it is not as hopeless as I thought. And I could grasp and cling to that thought. I could see myself going on. That was the lowest point ever in my 37 years on earth. What brought me to this point is a very long story. It started a little more than 14 years ago with the birth of my first born son. I have always been a control freak, I like to plan and to feel in control of a situation. For the past 14 years I have tried to be in control and on top of all my sons medical issues. I researched every new diagnosis so carefully that my husband started to r...
7 comments
Read more