Skip to main content

Footprints of a giant.

Isn't life strange?


When I was a child I had a very close relationship with my father. He was my hero, I looked up to him and I have him to thank for my love for music. His passion for classical (and church) music was my inspiration and the reason I learned to play the piano.


My mother was the reason I continued with the piano lessons. Her encouragement when I wanted to give up is what pushed me towards becoming a moderately talented pianist.
I have come to realize, in the almost two years since her death, that my mother was my real inspiration in life. And thankfully she still is. When I am sad and discouraged, it is her voice I hear. I can hear it clearly in my mind, encouraging me not to give up, and then I feel her presence so very clearly next to me.
And with her ever present nearness I have nothing to fear or be sad about.

These last few years have been an eye opening experience.
Ever since my mom's passing I have been struggling with my spiritual life. I have discovered deep seated resentments and hurts I honestly never knew existed.


I am also very glad I had the mother I had. I can imitate her courage, her determination, her love and her unwavering support to the people she loved. March 11th will be the two year anniversary of her death, and I can honestly say that it is getting easier.

Easier to recognize her voice when my thoughts get too dark. Easier to recognize her courage coming through in the tough situations. Easier to love the people I am close to despite their faults. Easier to practice the same devotion she had to the people she loved.

And I know I have God to thank for this, because He gave her to me. I now know her purpose in life was to prepare us for the journey we find ourselves on. God really does work in mysterious ways!

I have a new favorite country song, it's titled "Footprints of a Giant" by Dean Brody. I definitely have footprints of a giant stretching out in front of me, and I thank the Lord for them everyday.

Confessions of a New Mummy

Comments

  1. AprilFebruary 4, 2020 at 4:24 PM

    She sounds wonderful. I still have my mother, but she lost hers at 36, and my cousin just lost her mom a year ago, and my heart goes out to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kateonthiniceFebruary 4, 2020 at 9:11 PM

    Such a beautiful post and has come at a really good time for me as have just said to someone that I wish my Mum and Dad were around. My mum shared characteristics with yours by the sound of things and as I have difficult decisions to make about my future, your post helped me think I might just do the right thing and be brave after all. Love how blogging leads us to inspiraition #TwinklyTuesday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elsa PieterseFebruary 5, 2020 at 5:19 AM

      Thank you for your kind reply Kate. Just listen to that voice guiding you, she will never lead you astray. And you are braver than you think. Good luck with your decisions, I will keep you in my prayers.

      Delete
  3. KateFebruary 10, 2020 at 10:14 PM

    Can only imagine how difficult it is losing your Mum. I'm sure she is still guiding you in her own way. Thanks for sharing and linking up #TwinklyTuesday

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hobbies - sanity saving stuff!

 I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly because I've been keeping myself busy, quite productively I must say. I started a whatsapp group more than a year ago, where I sell items I find at thrift stores. I hit an emotional bump in the beginning of the year and stopped the group for a few months. After some self reflection, I started the group again, and it's been keeping me occupied. And thus away from sinking into depression again. Depression as a result of PTSD from special needs parenting. But I have posted about this before, and this post is about positivity and hope. So I won't be going into depressing subjects today. My whatsapp group's name is Interestingfinds. And that's exactly what I sell on the group. Treasures I find in thriftstores and similar stores. I also have a bidorbuy account where I sell similar items. But the whatsapp group has been really therapeutic. I get to interact with other people (electronically) and I have made quite a few fr...
3 comments
Read more

Rock bottom...

This post is very difficult for me to write. But it is part of my healing so here goes. I was feeling so tired and so alone. I could not see light, I only saw darkness. I thought if this is it, if this is all there is I can just as well be dead. But if I'm dead what then? Where will I go? Will there be nothing? That can't be, there has to be something after death, but then there also has to be a God. And if there is a God then it is not as hopeless as I thought. And I could grasp and cling to that thought. I could see myself going on. That was the lowest point ever in my 37 years on earth. What brought me to this point is a very long story. It started a little more than 14 years ago with the birth of my first born son. I have always been a control freak, I like to plan and to feel in control of a situation. For the past 14 years I have tried to be in control and on top of all my sons medical issues. I researched every new diagnosis so carefully that my husband started to r...
7 comments
Read more

Embarrassing or infuriating?? Both.

This special needs journey has been entertaining. It has been scary. It has been educational. It has been down right depressing at times. It has been humerous. All of these emotions have been present for a while, and we experience most of them daily. It has also been embarrassing. But we got used to the dirty nappies at inoppertune times. We even got used to impolite stares and whispers. All of these moments have been embarrassing in a way, but we got over it and learned how to cope with them. We have recently begun to deal with issues that were not present before. It is embarrassing, but it also reminds me of how uninformed people can be. We attended my niece's birthday party and one of the moms told my sister that she was worried because my son would be attending. She was worried he would try something with one of the girls. Now, for those who don't know Jacques, that is just plain hilarious. It is funny because Jacques doesn't understand sexuality. And it is hilarious be...
3 comments
Read more