This is gonna sound really strange, but sometimes I almost envy people in "normal abusive relationships". They have the luxury of hating their abuser. Of maybe finally getting out of the relationship. They get sympathy and maybe finally get to escape their circumstances.
Parents of certain special needs kids never have that luxury. Sure you can be pushed into placing him/her in a home, to make them the problem of the state, or to have them live with relatives for a while. But, you never escape the sense of responsibility. Or the pull of a parents love. That love that would move mountains for someone. That kind of love that may eventually become your undoing.
(Un)?fortunately, special needs parents are made of really strong stuff. They learn to focus on the small victories. On the happy times, the times your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest with love for that child. You focus on the effect that child has on everyone he comes in contact with. The immense pride you feel when people take time to notice how far he/she has come.
You focus on the impact that child has had on his/her siblings. The amazing young human beings that are being developed through circumstances you would not wish on your worst enemy.
And you pray, you pray for strength, you pray for patience, you pray for understanding and you pray for answers. Answers to questions you cannot ask anyone else. Questions you do not wish to reveal to anyone else.
And you wait, patiently, for the answers to your prayers. Because they will come, you know without a shadow of a doubt that they will come, because He has always answered your prayers, in His own time. When He knows you are ready for the answer, when you will be able to handle whatever He decides is for the best.
Special needs families are some of the strongest people you will ever meet, remember that next time you feel the urge to judge or to stare.
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